Category Archives: Mathematical Humor

The lightest side of Singapore math with a slight dose of irreverence

Pi versus WHO

Pi recently took a page from Singapore’s only ruling party’s decades-long successful template how to stay in power perpetually, with quasi-zero public protests, strikes, and riots.

Will Pi win her viral legal case against the World Health Organization (WHO)? Millions of math teachers worldwide are unspokenly hoping that the WHO won’t alienate or betray Pi, just as it did for the marginalized and unrecognized variant Xi.

Would Pi be vindicated for unfairly being discriminated by those who’re playing politics to prevent her from being admitted as a bona-fide corona variant worthy of WHO’s recognition?

Imagine how excited math educators globally would be if Pi won her legal case against the WHO.

Come Pi Day or Pi Approximation Day, if the 16th letter of the Greek alphabet were officially declared a WHO-approved variant by then, schools and universities would be electrified in conducting an eclectic mix of pi talks and lectures to promote Pi’s ambivalent “murderous” new status.

I, for one, have started to work on Murderous Pi—the title of a math e-book to celebrate Pi’s evolution from a humble mathematical constant to a proud corona variant, which would be plagued with devilish or wicked problems on mathematics’s most beloved irrational number.

Are you looking forward for Pi’s long-overdue recognition by WHO’s health professionals in the Lunar New Year of the Rabbit?

Until she’s virally credited for her fatally mixed impact on earthlings before she’d rest in peace to make way for Rho and Sigma, who’re lining up to be WHO-recognized, Pi’s rejection would be perceived as an irrational [mathematical & viral] injustice or betrayal, whose aftermath paranoiac behaviors among math educators and virologists worldwide could potentially be unpeaceful, to say the least.

Like the “infidel” Zero, who’s ostracized by the Church Fathers of yesteryear, may the “agnostic” or “devilish” Pi be vindicated as she longs to gain formal approval to be in the company of fellow corona variants.

© Yan Kow Cheong, January 17, 2023

Will Pi Be WHO-Recognized?

Math Word of the Day: Mathemachicken

I can’t recall what prompted me to coin “mathemachicken” three-odd years ago. Was it the aftermath of setting or solving an unhealthy number of word problems on chickens or eggs, or both?

Not too long ago, in Organic Chicken Rice for the Rich, I hatched up a meme and offered some math questions on organic and kampong chickens. https://bit.ly/3y1fXvL

Early this month, the world read about Malaysia’s decision to ban the export of chickens (but not eggs) to its frenemy neighbor Singapore. In fact, even before the ban, the prices of chicken eggs were already skyrocketing in supermarkets, which sounds more like a case of synchronized profiteering strategies among exporters, distributors, and supermarkets than anything else, but after some Opposition members had denounced the unjustified inflated prices, things have since stabilized more or less.

Organic Chicken for the Rich & Wealthy

Ukrainian Eggs 4 Singapore

During Singapore’s “circuit breaker”—a PC term for “lockdown”—we’re blessed with white eggs flown from Ukraine. I recall that some supermarkets had promotions like “Buy One, Get One Free” or “Buy Two, Get One Free” to lure locals to try Ukrainian eggs. Since the war, the import of these bigger and cheaper eggs seems to have come to a halt.

Probably no animal is more popular than the chicken in math word problems—even the beloved bunny comes a distant second. Be it the use of their heads, eyes, legs, or eggs, the chicken remains the animal of choice among mathematical problem posers.

Tens of thousands of brain-friendly and unfriendly math questions on chickens and eggs around the world make their way into canned and creative math textbooks every year, which makes millions of math-anxious students worldwide to “chicken out” to avoid being given all kinds of labels by peers and parents for their oft-irrational fear or failure to solving them.

Philosophically Speaking

If you were a chicken, would you feel privileged or pissed off by the way your name is being used, abused, or misused in school textbooks and workbooks?

Do you think it’s long overdue that you and your feathery friends and foes sue the publishers and the Ministries of Education around the world for showing disrespect or even disdain towards the chicken community?

On a lighter note, if it looks like a chicken and clucks and counts like a chicken, you never know: it might be a mathemachicken.

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 28, 2022

Which came first: The chicken or the egg?

Math Word of the Day: Pithon

The day before, we read that a female Burmese python weighting 98 kg and nearly 5 m was caught in Florida. She’s the largest snake ever found in that state before her death, pregnant with an amazing 122 eggs; if stretched vertically, she’d be as tall as a giraffe.

In Florida, where now lives the Viper in Chief after being ousted from the White House, who’s since preoccupied himself with terrorizing those who refuse to propagate his lasagna of lies, pythons have become pests due to irresponsible pet owners of yesteryears releasing or allowing pet pythons to escape in the wild.

With no major predators, Florida’s subtropical climate has provided serpents and snakes a conducive breeding ground for them to multiply, often outcompeting native species. Who knows? Alien vipers might eventually outnumber local pythons, if left on their own to populate the land.

Recently, some human vipers mounted a “mathematical insurrection” against textbook publishers for allegedly promoting “woke math” to K–12 students. And a rising number of foreign pythons are set to keep Florida’s annual “Python Challenge” alive—this year, the event runs from August 5–14 and is expected to lure around 500+ python hunters from 25 different states.

🐍🔢: Math with Pythons & Pithons

Like math questions on vampires and zombies, those on pythons (and pithons) are no less frightening or exciting to problem solvers. Below are two examples:

It is estimated that the female Burmese python, which was caught after Floridian researchers used a male “scout” to find her, was up to 20 years old. In human years, would she be as old as the Viper in Chief?

Python Pies or Pizzas: In 2021, the winner of the “Python Challenge” captured 223 pythons, while the longest snake was 15 feet long. Imagine if this year’s captured foreign pythons were ethically killed and exotically used to make pies or pizzas, how many pieces of either one could be made by the chefs at Mar-a-Lago for the “Florida Python Food Festival”?

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 25, 2022

What’s your definition of a pithon?

Math Word of the Day: Square

If you were given a chance to redefine a square, what would your new definition be other than it being another word for a geek, nerd, or bore? Or, a figure who refuses to do any of those immoral, illegal, or unethical things when pressured by peers: drug, booze, sex, porn, gang, scheme, graft, ….

Geometric Stereotype à la Singapour

In Chan Li Shan’s Searching for Lee Wen (2022), the author wrote:

“A well-known actress, Nancy Kwan once gave a talk at a conference of British-born Chinese. Having started in the film The World of Suzie Wong, she was talking about what it was like to be a Chinese actress working in Hollywood. Noticing Lee Wen [a deceased Singaporean artist who received the Cultural Medallion in 2005, Singapore’s highest award for the arts] at the back of the room, she said,

“Who’s that young man sitting behind? How come you’re so quiet? Where are you from?”
“I’m Lee Wen from Singapore.”
“Oh! Singapore… people there are all very square, right?”

Don’t you agree that there’s an iota of truth that people in the “fine” city don’t so much look like a square but do often behave like one? By this, I mean that they’re generally conservative, conformist, or compliant, or all three. Few would wish to be seen as an odd one in a sea of evens, because an oddball often creates waves, positively or negatively.

At work, few would step out of their invisible square to question, much less challenge, the oft-dated rules and regulations. Most hate their job, waiting for Fridays and dreading Mondays. They’ve subconsciously squared to live an uneventful or fearful life, because switching to an alternative career path looks pretty disruptive, not to say, (initially) painful.

Your choice of a meaningful life lies squarely on you. If you’re a math educator, are the math things you’re presently doing square with what you desire in future? For instance, are you waiting until you retire to write that book? Or until the kids go to college to start working on that manuscript? Whatever it is, just make sure that you don’t die with a book still inside you!

If you’ve been dubbed a square, or secretly see yourself as one, remember that squares are circles with corners, and over time, most of them do turn into a beautiful (imperfect) circle.

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 23, 2022

A right 4-gon

Math Word of the Day: Dengue-19

On April 26, 2022, after reading in the local papers that almost 5,500 dengue cases were reported in high-GDP Singapore, exceeding last year’s total, I posed and posted the following quiz:

“Covid-🇸🇬: A True or False Quiz: “In living-with-Covid Singapore, people are more afraid of contracting the dengue virus (dubbed the ‘rich man’s threat’) than the coronavirus (coined the ‘poor man’s dread’).”

A Tale of Two Vectors

Last November, I’d somewhat asked a similar question: “What are the odds that in Singapore the wealthy are more likely to go to hospital due to a mosquito bite rather than due to a viral infection? The delta goes for the poor; the dengue targets the rich.”

A month earlier, I’d postulated the following scenario: “In the Singapore 2021 infection contest, the dengue is no match to the delta. Even with more biting opportunities to target potential work-from-home victims, the 🦟 blamed the 🦠 for failing to meet its target.” https://lnkd.in/d5TeNdUA

In fact, way back in 2020, I’d pondered about “Singapore’s double whammy: The dengue (9,261 cases) is catching up fast to give the coronavirus (36,405 cases) some fight. Which one will win the 🇸🇬 infection contest: the mosquito 🦟 or the virus 🦠?” bit.ly/36YIzbh

Fight for Your Life

Today, in a number of war-stricken or terrorism-sponsored countries, the battle cry is: “Be a peace fighter.” In SE Asia, the rallying cry is: “Be a dengue fighter.”

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 22, 2022

Which is deadlier: Covid or Dengue?

Math Word of the Day: Covid-🇸🇬

On Monday, Singapore’s Health Minister Ong Ye Kung reported that 80,000 seniors aged 60 and above have yet to take their Covid-19 booster shots, urging them to do so as the city-state is expecting a new wave of Omicron infections in the next few months.

The minister added that the first batch of Covid-19 vaccines were engineered more for the “wild-type” virus, and now that the coronavirus has mutated into the Delta and Omicron variants, we need at least three doses of vaccines for “effective” protection—and a fourth jab (or a second booster shot) is recommended for those who’ve so far lived on this planet for at least three scores and two tens (or four scores)—aged 80 and above.

Like thousands of my fellow skeptics, when we read or hear this kind of corona update from a local politician on a Monday, our skepticism index goes up at least twenty points. It sounds more like an indecent number of WHO-approved vaccines are nearing their expiry dates, so they need to come up with some creative eleventh-hour strategies not to waste away those tens of thousands of doses.

These days, even developing countries with low vaccination rates are likely to turn down any donated near-expiry vaccines from those high-GDP hoarders. They’d reply, “Thank you very much for your [“insincere”] donation!” followed by some PC excuses not to offend the donors.

One subtle way to salvage a fraction of these surplus doses is to use some mortality statistics to scare off those who’ve yet to be jabbed or boosted.

For instance, we’re statistically being told that the probability of unvaccinated seniors aged 60 and above ending in the intensive care unit (ICU) or dying from Covid-19 is 1/25, but the figure drops to 1/100 if they’ve been doubly jabbed, or nosedives to a mere 3/1000 if they’ve been boosted.

Minister Ong emphasized that “It makes a difference whether you have taken 0, 1, 2 or 3 shots.” So, the unvaxxed would better pay heed to his life-and-death warning unless they plan to journey to the other side sooner than later.

The sombre message is: Wake up to your minister’s advice if you don’t want to have a minister at your premature wake conducting nightly services to your loved ones and friends and colleagues. The decision is yours to act if you want to prolong your stay on this planet by an extra few years or decades.

Let’s pray that the unvaccinated or unboosted lot would fear Covid-19 more than Covid-🇸🇬, while not letting themselves be paralyzed by either one.

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 20, 2022

The Fear Factor in the “Fine” City

Math Word of the Day: Bitcoin

The advent of cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ether has provided math educators worldwide with fertile resources to indulge themselves in creative mathematical posing and solving.

Unfortunately, the negative perception that cryptocurrency or crypto is a vector for serious organized crime and money laundering has led millions of half-informed or risk-averse folks to adopt a wait-and-see attitude vis-à-vis Bitcoin transactions.

Who/What Is Satoshi Nakamoto?

Nobody knows the identity of Satoshi Nakamoto. If the name isn’t a he or she or it, could the name be a covert group of cryptographers and mathematicians?

Like the modern-day equivalent of the Bourbaki group—the collective pseudonym of a group of predominantly French mathematicians in the 1930s, who tried to axiomatize mathematics to make it more rigorous?

So far, the few suspects—digital-currency addict Nick Szabo, Japanese mathematician Shinichi Mochizuki, and Co.—all have denied being the founder of Bitcoin, except for Australian computer scientist who loudly but unprovenly claimed that he is Nakamoto.

Crypto Math

Posing fertile crypto math questions is only limited by our imagination. Thanks to Bitcoin or cryptocurrency, NFTs, and the Metaverse, I’ve toyed around with a number of crypto math questions.

Below are a sample of Bitcoin-related questions that I hope would make their way into a math booklet fit for publication in a-not-too-distant future.

  1. Bitcoins are divided into Satoshis: one hundred million Satoshis in each Bitcoin. At the current Bitcoin price, what fraction of a U.S. cent is worth the smallest fraction of a Bitcoin?
  2. In 2010, a pizza restaurant agreed to accept ten thousand Bitcoins in exchange for two large pizzas. At today’s exchange rate, how much would each pizza be worth?
  3. In September 2021, El Salvador approved Bitcoin as a secondary currency; in April 2022, Central African Republic followed suit. Which rogue or war-torn nation in Asia or the Middle East would be the first one to make Bitcoin its official currency? Or would it be “fine” city Singapore that would lead the way in becoming SE Asia’s crypto hub?
  1. Crypto Apocalypse: What are the odds that due to hyperinflation (or a possible WW3 in the aftermath of the senseless Ukraine-Russia war) people would start losing faith in Bitcoin to the point that it suffered the same fate as the Zimbabwean dollar bills?
  2. A golf resort is rumored to have been gifted with 13.257 ETH and 12.5 bitcoin from a Middle Eastern prince. How much did the shady resort receive in cash donation from their criminal donor?

Crypto Winter Is Coming!

With news of a crypto winter in the horizon, let’s hope that the mathematics of Bitcoin or cryptocurrency wouldn’t deter math educators globally from getting involved in creative mathematical thinking and problem solving.

I don’t know about you, but I’m waiting for Bitcoin to drop under $10,000 as my next buy alert. The future lies in Bitcoin—or in blockchain.

Richly yours

Continue reading Math Word of the Day: Bitcoin

Political Math in Singapore

Moons ago, long before Trump’s MAGA slogan resonated among blue-collar workers and white evangelicals, I was surprised to read a parent’s guide mentioning that some American homeschoolers had mixed feelings about using foreign editions of Singapore math textbooks because of the lack of political freedom in the island-state.

No matter how value-for-money Singapore math titles are, or how impressive the “fine” city’s top ranking in both PISA and TIMSS is, some American parents and teachers would have nothing to do with a country that stifles freedom of speech, restricts political freedom, or cracks down on alternative views that often portray the government in a negative light.

Singapore is a partly free country.

This week, we read that in the new normal Singapore has fared worse than the previous year as far as political rights and civil liberties are concerned. If 50 were the passing mark, then the island-state fell short, by scoring a disappointing 48 out of 100 on political freedom.

Singapore’s Freedom in the World
https://freedomhouse.org/country/singapore

Selective Internet Accessibility

Less well-known is Singapore’s average performance or ranking in terms of the public’s internet access, especially when both locals and aliens thought they could easily access the internet (except for some banned websites on politics, religion, and sex, or most political blogs that don’t depict the country’s political leaders positively), compared to their counterparts in China, where Google, Facebook, and Twitter are banned.

Singapore’s Freedom on the Net
https://freedomhouse.org/country/singapore/freedom-net/2020

Political Freedom: Singapore vs. Others

Although we may not agree on the methodology used to compute the scores, which are calculated on a weighted scale, however, the global freedom ranking of most countries appears pretty accurate.

Let’s look at some freedom scores, by comparing how Singapore fares vis-à-vis some rich or rogue countries.

North Korea: 3 (not free)
China: 9 (not free)
Burma: 28 (not free)
Singapore: 48 (partly free)
Malaysia: 51 (partly free)
Hong Kong: 52 (partly free)
Philippines: 56 (partly free)
Indonesia: 59 (partly free)
India: 67 (partly free)
South Africa: 79 (free)
US: 83 (free)
UK: 93 (free)
Taiwan: 94 (free)
Japan : 96 (free)
Norway: 100 (free)

Source: https://freedomhouse.org/countries/freedom-world/scores

Make Singapore Free (and Great) Again!

Since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, in the aftermath of more pseudo-free nations going rogue, or more institutions paying lip service to democratic processes, I remember less than three years ago coining tongue-in-cheek “Make Singapore Free Again.”

The Fear Factor in Singapore

The Fear Factor as a Common Denominator

What are some long-term consequences for math educators living in a politically semi-free milieu? Teachers who need to seek permission from their HODs or principals to start a blog or a Facebook page; or writers who need to consult editors or publishers before they start working on a politically incorrect or irreverent math title.

When I started blogging, I still recall that those who had a say in my pay wanted me to choose a different name that doesn’t include “Singapore Math” as part of the blog’s identity. Apparently, every time they Googled “Singapore math,” they landed on my site, and they’re uncomfortable with that. I refused to compromise because I thought then (and now) that the idea of censoring or threatening me for raising some unethical practices in educational publishing is laughably ridiculous, not to say, mathematically or educationally anti-democratic.

It’s not an accident or coincidence that high-GDP Singapore has probably the lowest number of math bloggers, or the least number of math teachers on Twitter, in the developed world.

For some of us, who look like an odd in a sea of evens, the “fear factor” of speaking up and speaking out is real, even if our audience is outside Singapore. As long as we are a “mathematical or political nobody,” it’s probably safe to say that we’re at quasi-zero risk of being banned or censored, while being aware that a small army of vigilantes are watching us 24/7/365 just in case we go “politically astray.”

POFMA Math

During the lockdown, when a few Opposition candidates appeared to be unfairly targeted for their “fake” comments, I entertained the possibility that soon the authorities would be targeting math bloggers or textbook authors, who poked fun at some MOE directives or policies, by irreverently christening POFMA Math.

What are the odds that Singapore math authors would be the next to be POFMA-ed?

Poverty or Democracy

For decades, the unspoken or unchallenged political message in Singapore for Singaporeans and foreigners is: High GDP or Low Political Liberty. You can’t have both!

Why can’t your say and your pay go hand in hand? The lie that a country’s economic prosperity and political freedom are inversely proportional needs to be debunked at all costs, because failure to do so would only perpetuate mediocrity, economic stagnancy, political apathy, and uncreativity among the citizenry.

Democratically and richly yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, March 6, 2021.

Covid-19, Halloween, and Hell

Halloween in Singapore: To Spook or Not to Spook

 

For math-anxious or mathophobic folks, mathematics is more terrifying than being attacked by an army of vampires, werewolves, and zombies. For the health-conscious, Covid-19 is a thousand times deadlier than Halloween and Donald J. Trump combined. And for those on the far-left of the political spectrum, Trumpvirus is a googol times more lethal than the product of the coronavirus and Halloween. So, it looks like it depends what really matters to you to rationalize which is more frightening: Halloween, Covid-19, or Trump-45.

For conservatives or evangelicals, who recognize the dangers posed by the dark spiritual forces, Halloween is a festival of the devil, because ghosts or evil spirits are real and dangerous. How do math educators navigate through the occultic maze to leverage on a spookacular festival to promote numeracy and creative problem solving?

When Halloween is a multi-million-dollar fear-and-fun business in secular societies like China, Japan, and Singapore, math educators regardless of their religious affiliations have to recognize that Halloween is here to stay. 

Yellow Halloween

When Asians too feel like celebrating a Western fright-wear festival like Halloween—the spooky business worth millions of dollars is too good to give it a miss.

The yellow Halloween provides an opportunity for rich Chinese and Japanese participants to show off their creative elaborate costumes, bringing much joy to organizers and dozens of tailors cashing in on the event.

by MathPlus November 03, 2016

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Yellow+Halloween

Let's look at a sample of Halloween math questions.

1. A Horror Movie

Thou shalt not dabble in numerology!

The screening of Covid-19 v. Trump-45 ended at 1:19 AM. If the horror movie lasted for 1 hour 31 minutes, what time did it start?

 

 

 

A poster outside a Singapore bookstore

2. The Ghostly Time

What is the acute angle measure between the hands of a clock at 10:31 p.m. on Halloween?

 

 

 

 

 

3. Horror-scope & Bat-man

#PumpkinSpice from Edel Rodriguez (@edelstudio on 19/10/17)

Today is Friday, and Trump’s numerologist tells him that he will have to drink the blood of a bat 666 days from today to continue to lead a “normal life” after he leaves the White House. What day of the week is Donald expected to do that task?

 

 

4. TrumpMath, Anyone?

 

5. A Grave Calculation

Not all sins or bad habits are treated equal!

Assuming that most people would live up to three scores and ten years, how long will it take before the whole world is covered in gravestones?

 

 

 

 

 

6. Operation Vampire

The Power of the Cross

If a vampire were to feed once a day and turn each of his victims into a vampire, show that the entire human population of the planet would become vampires in just over a month.

The Ghost Month and Halloween

Long before the East imported Halloween from the West, superstitious Asians have been celebrating their one-month-long version of Halloween, known as the “Ghost (or Seventh) Month”—a far more scarier festival than a mere evening of horror fun.

My hypothesis is: Halloween is no more than one-seventh as frightening as the Ghost Month, a festival celebrated in many parts of Asia every August or September, depending when those spiritual vagabonds from hell decided to descend on earth.

The coronavirus pandemic and the Seventh Month provide math teachers with new math terms to coin, and allow them to pose a number of deadly guesstimation problems. Below are a few of these Covid-math terms.  


On August 8, 2020, @SingaporeLite tweeted the following:

Covid-👿

Corona Math: What are the odds that hungry ghosts from Hell who’d roam Earth during the Ghost or Seventh Month—Aug 19–Sep 16—are corona-proof? Besides instilling fear on superstitious folks, aren’t they also a source of infection? todayonline.com/node/8269421 #Singapore #Covid-19 👿🦠

The Deities & the Deceased  The Math of Hell: A politically correct explanation of the burning of hell money: Why the deities like odd numbers, and the deceased like even numbers. https://www.facebook.com/MothershipSG/videos/experts-explain-burning-offerings-in-singapore/336558850793421/ #Singapore #Taoism #hell #Buddhism #ghost #evil #spirit #Chinese #culture #tradition #fear #math #number (@SingaporeLite on 20/9/20)

On July 1, 2020, @SakamotoMath tweeted the following picture and text.

Happy Math-O-Ween! from @MrHonner

 

Corona Math: Given that the coronavirus is empowered to infect both earthlings and celestial beings, guesstimate the no. of infections among the fallen angels that colluded with Lucifer to challenge the Throne of God in the heavenlies. #Covid-19 #heaven #hell #angel #math #humor

Halloween vs. Coronavirus

Which is scarier to you: Halloween or Covid-19? How are you remembering those who would still be around if not because of the coronavirus? Is fake political leadership responsible for their premature departure to the other side of eternity? #Halloween #Covid-19 #death #leadership (@SakamotoMath on 30/10/20)

Covid-19 Goes Green

The coronavirus doesn’t discriminate against believers, nonbelievers, or agnostics—it infects or kills people of all religions or philosophies with the same intensity.

From Paranormal to Trumpnormal Distribution
Q: What do you get when you cross Covid-19 and Statistics? 

A: The Trumpnormal distribution.

 

A “ghost distribution” from @wilderlab

Political Engineering: Stop flattening and start trumpifying the curve to open up more businesses across the US—more testings and tracings don’t win an election! #statistics #coronavirus #Covid-19 #business #lockdown #distribution #Singapore #math #infection #death #curve #humor

Coronavirus’s Nineteen Names

Just as President Trump has been conferred so many notorious titles, the coronavirus has been given all kinds of racist labels.   

7. Not All Corona Prayers Are the Same!

A Shaolin Buddhist abbot can pray for a Covid-19 patient to be healed in 8 days and a Baptist bishop in 2 days. How long would it take them to get a patient who is twice as sick to fully recover, if both leaders prayed together?

 

Selected Answers: 1. 11:48 PM     2. 129.5°     3. Saturday     5. Over a million years     7. 3.2 days

References

Correl, G. (2015). The worrier’s guide to life. Missouri: Andrews McMeel Publishing.

Lloyd, J., Mitchinson, J. & Harkin, J. (2012). 1,227 QI facts to blow your socks off. London: Faber and Faber.

Santos, A. (2009). How many licks? Philadelphia: Running Press.

Singh, S. (2013). Homer Simpson’s scary maths problemshttps://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24724635

Yan, K.C. (2012). Halloween Mathhttps://www.singaporemathplus.com/2012/10/halloween-math.html

© Yan Kow Cheong, October 31, 2020.

© Photo by Gemma Correl

The Mathematics of Trump and Kim

Even if math educators are politically apathetic or have near-zero interest in world politics, they can’t discount lightly the irrational thoughts, words, and actions of President Trump and Chairman Kim, because the very presence of these two world “leaders” is two too many—the world is far less secure with these two fellows around, especially when at the push of a nuclear button, millions of innocent civilians would be heading to the other side of eternity sooner than later.

Below are two irreverent entries that were approved by the Urban Dictionary editors about Trump and Kim.

Being neither a mathematician nor a politician, I’d be the most unqualified “math educator” to hypothesize how numerate or “logical” or rational these two disruptive politicians are. However, my educational hypothesis about math education in both North Korea and the US is that North Korea Math is probably less inch-deep-mile-wide than US Math.

On January 2, 2013, I tweeted in tongue-in-cheek the following:

If North Korea were to take part in TIMSS, would it be a surprise if its K–12 #math students outperform their counterparts in the US? #TIMSS

If we factor in the educational budget of each participating country in TIMSS and their local teachers’ limited resources, a politically incorrect ranking would probably look as follows:

There are no ranking errors: Singapore isn’t in the top ten (with or without private tuition).

The Rocket Man and the Mentally Deranged US Dotard

Edelman Rodriguez’s “Play Date” @edelstudio (12/6/18)

Which “political unthinking” is more dangerous: “Think like Kim” or “Think like Trump”? Who is a more unpredictable or deadly bully? Is “Fatty Kim the Third“—a derogatory term for the well-fed dictator whose own people are starving in the millions—a mere toothless bully vis-à-vis his American counterpart?

Having zero mercy for your political foes, by torturing them and their family members; and poisoning, hanging, or murdering your siblings and relatives, who you suspect are against you.

Or, tweeting and taunting illegal immigrants, radical Islamists, and the LGBT community, which tends to trigger symptoms of insomnia, irrational fear, anxiety, depression, and trauma—the so-called Trump Stress Disorder (TSD)—which unconfirmed reports suggest that they’re more likely to die sooner of heart attack, or to be victims of racial or ethnic persecution.

Kim’s Digital Murder

Below is a quick-and-dirty e-card I tweeted on August 5, 2018 on dictator-murderer Kim, who had his army of hackers or digital terrorists use Photoshop to “digitally murder” his uncle.

If Kim Jong-Un were a radical Muslim-convert, North Korea could become ISIS’s new HQ! #politics #war some.ly/dCh7Y7b

Mathematical Intercourse between Trump and Kim

Another half-baked mathematical e-card I made and tweeted during the Trump-Kim tête-à-tête in Singapore is the following:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a nonmathematical note,

and the question is: What do you get if you cross a Trump with a Kim?

and the answer is: Nothing. You can't cross a dictator with a murderer.

Or, on a mathematical note,

and the question is: What do you get if you cross a mosquito Kim with an overweight Trump?

and the answer is: Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
Bromance of Two Dictators

Singapore as the political matchmaker.

Trump claimed that he and Kim “fell in love” after exchanging letters—it sounds like two egomaniacs trying to outwit each other with their insincere sweet words, by stroking each other’s fragile ego.

Trump-Putin, Trump-Xi, Trump-Sisi, Trump-Erdogan, and now Trump-Kim. It appears that dictators do attract each other! A political hypothesis math educators pursuing a PhD in math education might wish to test is: Dictatorship is quadratic!

From Dictator Putin to Emperor Xi to soon-to-be Pharaoh Sisi, Tweeter-in-Chief or Pinocchio-in-Chief Trump, all these power-hungry men have no limits to controlling more yes-men and yes-women, while expecting blind obedience—those who don’t toe the line are likely to be fired prematurely.

In Trump & Kim We Trust

The Symbolic Trump-Kim Meeting in Singapore

Last June, the Singapore government forked out a wallet-unfriendly $20 million to hold the symbolic meeting between President Trump and Chairman Kim.

A Political Math exercise I tweeted then was: Guesstimate how much on average each taxpayer in Singapore “contributed” to footing the $20 million bill for the Trump-Kim meeting. bit.ly/2sVT6jG

Fire and Fury on Kim and His Gang of Killers

@juche_school1

Unlike his dictatorial and murderous grandfather and father who had longed to meeting a US President while they’re still alive, Kim Jong-un is the luckiest of the unholy trinity in finding a “good friend” in Donald Trump.

Political pundits think that North Korea needs more than trade sanctions for its nuclear and missile programs and the threat they pose to the world. A regime change to deliver North Koreans from the tyranny of the Kim dynasty ought to be in the political pipeline.

Thou Shalt Not Impersonate Thy Leader

Two dictators who dream of the Nobel Peace Prize.
  Photo ©BBC & Ed Jones/Getty

Unlike Vietnam which tries to threaten Trump and Kim impersonators to stop their “mocking acts,” it’s rather surprising that Singapore didn’t ban these pseudo-tyrants from walking around in town to have some political fun with both locals and tourists.

 

Abel & Cain 4.0

Thou shalt not kill thy brother.

On the right is an e-card I wrote and tweeted around the time when Kim Jong Un wanted so badly to exterminate his half-brother, Kim Jong Nam.

And below is an approved entry I contributed on “Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam,” which could no longer be publicly accessed online:

Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam

The modern-day version of the biblical Abel and Cain, with the chances of the two Kims not meeting their late father and grandfather in hell near to zero.

Brothers-rivals Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam serve as ideal plot characters for a Korean spy movie.

Maybe Kim’s hackers felt that the days of its publication should be numbered.

Obama vs. Kim

Unlike a dozen-odd mean tweets on Trump and Kim, any entries on Obama and Kim were in short supply. One I tweeted about them in 2014 in the aftermath of a racist comment on President Obama is the following:

An Unrighteous Deed, Indeed

If Obama is like a "monkey in a tropical forest," then Kim Jong-un must be a "fat pig in Siberia." #North-Korea (@MathPlus on 27/12/14)
Politico-Mathematica à la Singapour

Below are some politically incorrect “political math” questions that teachers could creatively tweak to pitch to their oft-politically challenged students, by conveying the message that math and politics do mix.

1. Parallelism between Two Irrational Personalities

List a dozen parallels between President Trump and Chairman Kim.

For example, Trump and Kim each have been conferred with high-sounding titles for their “contributions” to mankind.

Please call me “Dr. President Trump.”

2. Modeling with Trump and Kim

(a) Trump’s Tweets—Firing by Twitter

Model President Trump’s tweets, which provide a rich source of comedy, into a little juicy formula, which would predict his tweet-before-you-think posts in coming years (assuming that he would still be allowed to tweet behind bars should he be convicted for some political or business collusion with foreign powers).

(b) Kim’s Murders—Murder by Numbers

Formulate a “wicked algorithm” that would guesstimate the number of political critics or foes the Kim dynasty had ordered to be imprisoned, tortured, or killed every year since the Korean War.

3. [Fake] Nobel Prize Winners

What are the odds that the Tweeter-in-Chief and the Murderer-in-Chief might share the coveted the Nobel Peace Prize, if their peaceful actions are perceived to help avert World War III, which could irrationally or maniacally be triggered by pressing their nuclear button?

If someone like Yassir Arafat, who supported terrorism against Israel, could win a Nobel Prize, it’s not far-fetched that both Trump and Kim might be “honored” for fakely bringing world peace to an already-violent world, made insecure by radical Islamists.

4. Political Math

Below are some politico-mathematica questions I posted in recent months.

(a) Political Math: Guesstimate how many false or misleading claims Donald Trump will make by the time he leaves the White House in 2020 (or earlier if he is impeached and imprisoned)—7546 white lies in 700 days. #Singapore #math #politics #estimation #humor (@MathPlus on 30/12/18)
(b) Political Math: Which event has the higher odds of ever happening: Donald Trump winning the Nobel Peace Prize or being canonized as “Saint Trump”? If Arafat can win it, so can Trump! bit.ly/2IwDuP1 #Vatican #peace #sainthood #North-Korea #Singapore #math #miracle #humor (@MathPlus on 18/2/19)
(c) Political Math: What are the odds that if we had had President Hillary Clinton instead of President Donald Trump, she too would have fired the ex-FBI director James Comey, and that her opponents would now be calling for her impeachment and prosecution? #politics #math #hypocrisy (@MathPlus on 3/1/19)

How Trump Does Calculus

(d) Political Math: What are the odds that President Trump would not seek re-election in November 2020 in the aftermath of his impeachment by the House for colluding with Putin and gang? #statistics #SingaporeMath #math #odds #collusion #election #politics #Trump #Putin #humor (@MathPlus on 30/11/18)

5. Murderous Math

Here are some deadly math toughies that may not be apt for politically or religiously immature souls. Caution: Arm yourself, if need be, if you feel that you may be a victim of some form of “mathematical rebellion” from your hostile audience, who may be on a different political or spiritual wavelength as you.

(a) Murderous Singapore Math: What are the odds that there would be a coup in North Korea when Dictator Kim traveled to Hanoi for another symbolic meeting with President Trump? Is China, Iran, Syria, Russia, or Venezuela keen to take him?
Murderous Zeros: If filthy rich Saudis can buy a morally bankrupt fellow like Donald Trump to keep his silence, guesstimate how many “loyal zeros” he is worth to his murderers. #Khashoggi #MBS #murder #guesstimation #math (@Zero_Math on 21/11/18)
Murderous Math: A World Without North Korea—What are the chances that in the aftermath of a North Korean nuclear attack on the US, the Kim dynasty would cease to exist (as the US and allies retaliate to wipe out North Korea from the map)? #war #North-Korea #apocalypse #math (@Zero_Math on 6/12/18)

6. Food & Dog Diplomacy

(a) Singapore Math: What are the chances that North Korea might have a McDonald franchise before having a US embassy? #McKim #humor (@MathPlus on 15/8/17)

McKim was approved on July 13, 2017, and had since been probably “hijacked” by the hackers of the guardian deity of planet Earth.

McKim

The local burger McDonald plans to offer to middle-class North Koreans once Dictator Kim Jong Un and gang give them the green light to operate their first outlet in Pyongyang.

The Trump camp thinks that food diplomacy may be a first step to getting the Kim dictatorship to give up its nuclearization program—they've secretly approached McDonald to come up with a North Korean recipe for McKim.

(b) Dog Diplomacy: Chinese Communists give pandas; North Korean Communists give dogs. bbc.co.uk/news/world-asi… #politics #North-Korea #Communism (@MathPlus on 26/11/18)

(c) Faith in god Kim

Kim’s likely promise to Trump: “I want to denuclearize”—as the sanctions hurt and my dynasty must prevail. But like China, Iran, and Russia, where lying and cheating are in their DNA, can the world trust North Korea & the Kim dynasty? #Singapore #politics (@Zero_Math on 10/6/18)

God Has the Final Say in Trump’s Destiny—Not Men or CNN

Let me end on a positive note on how I re-christened or re-defined “President Trump” on 9/11, the date when he’s miraculously elected in 2016.

How God used an ungodly man to effect political change.

Bibliography & References

Monti, R. A. (2018). Donald Trump in 100 facts. UK: Amberley Publishing.

Pater, R. (2016). The politics of design. Amsterdam: BIS Publishers.

Defector: Kim Jong Un ordered execution by flamethrower https://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2019/02/22/north-korea-defectors-todd-pkg-tsr-vpx.cnn

Vietnam deports Kim Jong-un impersonator ahead of summit http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47354761

Vietnam detains impersonators of Kim Jong Un and Trump http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47337945

Vietnamese barber marks summit with free Trump-Kim haircuts http://bit.ly/2tu4Rij

Trump-Kim T-shirts hottest item ahead of Hanoi summit as shops cash in http://bit.ly/2EveqDV

Jim Carrey targets Trump with blunt political cartoons https://www.cnn.com/style/article/jim-carrey-trump-political-cartoons/index.html

© Yan Kow Cheong, February 27, 2019.

A Creative & Disruptive Math Title Coming Your Way*

*Agents keen to represent publishers confident enough to sell an obscene number of If Trump Were Your Math Teacher could contact K C Yan at his e-mail coordinates. A trumpillion thanks!