Category Archives: Mathematical Humor

The lightest side of Singapore math with a slight dose of irreverence

PISA Rankings & MAGA Tariffs

When I saw the three-in-one kind of ranking below, which is creatively (or comically?) created by summing the PISA scores from Math, Science, and Reading, those aggregates make some high-GDP countries like the U.S. look much better than their actual performance in each individual subject, especially when American students nationwide have so far disappointingly performed below the global average in math and science.

Chart © Anon.

The PISA “overall score” table prompted me to irreverently tweet the following:

[Fake] Math News: DJT plans to inflict higher tariffs on no fewer than 17 “allies” because of their “rigged” PISA scores—they’d allegedly stolen “American IP” to give their students an asymmetric or unfair edge over their MAGA counterparts.

In the mind of the “very stable genius,” the “low mathematical proficiency of nonwhite/immigrant/migrant kids” (from blue or woke states?) could arguably be attributed to the nation’s unacceptable pseudo-PISA ranking. Not a promising sign for America’s “Golden Age”!

Maybe the tariff thug should federally restore the Dept. of Education to MATH (Make America Think Harder!), or to pull the “exceptional country” out of PISA and TIMSS, because the true performance of its students isn’t being reflected accurately—others are cheating by unfairly “over-preparing” their exam-smart students to rig the ranking.

Did the Simpsons’ math scores pull the U.S. down?

What’s noticing about this unofficially created PISA table is the absence of heavyweights like China, India, and Russia. At least, Communist China (not just Taiwan), which took part in past PISA surveys and performed unsurprisingly well, ought to show up in the top three or five.

Had autocratic nations like North Korea and Iran taken part, it probably wouldn’t have been surprising to see them outrank the U.S. However, this prediction would probably fail for most African countries, which have generationally been plagued by wars, corruption, and dictatorship. For instance, would decades-long crime-ridden South Africa even make it in the top twenty in PISA or TIMSS even if “white privileged students” (or children of allegedly “persecuted white farmers”) weren’t excluded from the global comparative study?

Flawed or biased as they are, PISA (and TIMSS) rankings do subtly reveal a fair bit about how much each government around the world values the education of its citizens, while recognizing that more spending doesn’t always translate into better students’ performance.

The U.S. and most oil-rich countries are living examples of that educational failure—where mostly corrupt lawmakers and monarchs seem to pay lip service to raising the literacy and numeracy levels of their people, or often undervalue math educators, by paying them less than ICE or security personnel.

Could these underperforming nations continue to prosper without importing or allowing foreign (legal and illegal) talents to their shores? Do the millions of “America First” patriots who’re being “marginalized” due to the influx of “foreign cheap white-collar labor” have the immigrant mindset or the skill set to achieve their American dream?

Educationally & competently yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, August 19, 2025.

The Employability of a Math Major

Moons ago, while attending an NCTM conference, I received a tote bag with a slogan that read something like Do Math and You Can Do Anything! if my memory hadn’t deserted me. I suppose most attendees or geeks then were proud carrying their complimentary bag around to promote their favorite subject.

Meme © Anon.

Today, it’s not uncommon to spot math-positive slogans or motivational messages like Math is everywhere! and Math Rocks! Or even acronyms-turned-mathematical such as MATH (Make America Think Harder!) and MAGA (Make America Geometric Again!).

When I brought the low-quality bag home, my wife commented that the “math-is-everything” message is rubbish or even sounds pretty “elitist,” probably hinting to me that we, math people, are quasi-useless in most things practical other than gossiping about numbers and their relationships.

Over the years, with one foot on teaching and another on editing, I realize that most math graduates, especially math teachers or educators, are often an “uncreative” or risk-averse lot even if a good proportion of them hold a relatively safe but oft-unexciting job, each drawing a decent salary.

From Teaching to Publishing

Even those who’ve left teaching to join publishing as a math editor, the transition is anything but smooth, simply because teaching skills aren’t transferable to editing (or rewriting) skills. In fact, it’s quasi-axiomatic to say that most math teachers struggle writing a grammatically correct email, much less feel competent or confident enough to editing an ill-written or half-baked manuscript.

Of course, with the double-edge AI, it’s going to be harder to differentiate between fake and genuine math editors, especially those who’d bought or used faked degrees to secure an editorial position, who could now deliver an AI-assisted or better edited manuscript than most senior editors or managing editors, who might condescendingly think that generative AI is only reserved for second- or third-rate editors.

I couldn’t disagree with a number of small or family-owned publishers that comment that the better math editors are often those who’ve quasi-zero school teaching experience, compared to their peers who’ve formally taught or tutored a number of years, which seems like an odd observation or conclusion to outsiders. Most people incorrectly assume that ex-math teachers or tutors would be a better bet or choice to be recruited as math editors.

A Xmas gift for math-anxious folks!

Math Educators Are Poor Marketers

It’s no surprise that 99.99% of math educators are lousy at sales and marketing, which is often used as a simplistic excuse to justify or rationalize why their books or courses fail to attract a wider audience.

This is why I think math teachers and tutors ought to take up some discreet projects or gigs in the private sector to brush up their writing, reviewing, and presentation skills.

In general, the school milieu or academia tends to be a sanctuary for mediocre math teachers or educators with average communication skills (presentation, writing, editing, …). A few years’ stint out of the relatively cozy school system, say in competitive hire-or-fire publishing, would enhance their writing and editing skills a few folds.

The ruthless jungle of publishing—with all its politicking, backstabbing, and ghostwriting—serves as a fertile ground to improving someone’s editing, writing, presenting, and coaching skills, especially if they desire to venture into full-time writing and consulting in later years.

Creatively & wisely yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, July 21, 2025.

MAGA Pi

Happy Pi Day! On this important day in the mathematics calendar for millions of folks, geeky or not, how can we take a short break from all the daily negative news affecting tens of thousands of people in TrumpLand (and soon probably millions of workers in other parts of the world), thanks to a felon’s yo-yo tariffs and Elon’s DOGE cuts?

In the aftermath of this week’s mass layoffs at the Department of Education, with nearly half of the staff, or about 1,300 employees, being notified that they’d be terminated in three months, how many local and foreign-born math educators would be affected by this “unlawful” plan by the “anointed or chosen one”?

To keep mathematically and emotionally sane, what about poking fun at the “very stable genius” felon-president, by composing some pikus (or pi-related haikus) on this beloved math day?

Below are five pikus that leverage on the history of π and Trump’s idiocies and idiosyncrasies.

π Club Membership

genius.com: The Pi Song (100 Digits of π)

Trump failed to recite
A hundred digits of π.
Pi Club: “Try again!”

Monetizing π

Trump’s Crypto Crusade: The Pi Network

Trump wants to trademark
π to earn some royalty.
Math geeks up in arms.

Holy π

Art from Mike Luckovich on 1/23/25

Holy votes demand
An executive order
For π to be three*.

* 1 Kings 7:23 & 2 Chronicles 4:2

π = 22/7

Art from Edel Rodriguez @edelstudio on 7/2/24

Thus decreed King Trump:
“Thou shalt make π rational!”
Tariffs for sinners.

The Tau Manifesto

Thou Shalt Set τ = 2π!

Trump wants to dump π.
It’s an unnatural choice.
Tau as the new pi.

Piku-fully yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, March 14, 2025.

Calculus for Cats

If you had to choose between cat and calculus, which one would you save, especially if you happened to be a cat-and-math lover?

A math meme that pokes fun at the MAGA cult

Unlike dogs that are faithful, loyal, and obedient, cats are unpredictable, independent, and creative.

Yes, you can rely on a dog to unconditionally love you back even after you’ve scolded or even ill-treated them. The same treatment could hardly be said of or expected from a “never-forget” cat, who’s often the master (or lord) of their owner.

Know who’s the boss at home. Art stolen from “Kitty Corner” on FB.

It’s probably not a coincidence that a title like Calculus for Cats doesn’t just sound catchy (or even sexy), but it’s also apt for the feline family for a number of reasons.

Arguably, most dogs and puppies could handle algebra and trigonometry (or even pre-calculus), but cats and kittens, blessed with a “higher IQ” than their canine counterparts, could apparently manage calculus as well—or even intuitive topology in the hands of a geeky trainer.

Why aren’t more people christening their cat “Newton”?

Philosophically, dogs are peasants; cats are poets.

Singapore’s Cat Problem Solvers

It’s said that most dogs solve elementary math word problems religiously using algebra, without much appreciation (or comprehension?) of what they’re doing, unlike [lazy] cats—who’re always on the lookout for a shorter or creative way—that are prone to using the intuitive bar or stack model method to solving them.

Based on TIMSS and PISA rankings, it’s probably not an exaggeration to say that zero resources Singapore has done a relatively good job vis-à-vis other high GDP nations (with a much higher education budget) in nurturing its students (and teachers) into cat problem solvers.

Are You a Cat or Dog?

As a mathematical problem solver, are you more cat than dog? Or, to play safe, would you rather not rock the boat, by reluctantly being a dog math educator? Besides, you probably feel safer to sticking to routine algebraic methods than exploring nontraditional strategies in solving brain-unfriendly questions.

The “lazy” one does nothing; the “bees-zy” one does anything and everything.

No Sacrificial Lamb

Coming back to the dilemma between cat and calculus, if you’re a geeky cat lover, which one would you choose?

Assuming that no dog would be made the scapegoat to substitute the “unlucky” one, which one would you sacrifice or die for to keep one over the other?

Wisely yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, December 22, 2024.

Art by Rina Piccolo. @RinaPiccolo

Mathematic’s books

In recent years, I found more instances of “its” being (wrongly?) substituted for “it’s” in otherwise grammatically correct sentences, making me wonder whether or not the two are now socially interchangeable. It’s is short for it is or it has. Its means belonging to it, as in “It’s hurt its foot while fleeing a prey.”

Chinglish Math

This reminds me of other oft-confused differences like “everyday and every day” and “that and which.”

The misuse of apostrophes isn’t limited to folks from non-English-speaking countries like China, South Korea, and Vietnam. Even in the “fine” city of Singapore, on social media, it’s not uncommon to witness (senior) math editors, (seasoned) teachers, and (savvy) politicians commit these grammatical faux pas.

Using the apostrophe correctly needn’t be difficult once you know the rule, albeit there are some tricky exceptions, which you may be forgiven if you do commit these grammar sins.

Test Yourself

Below is a simple but not simplistic exercise to test whether you’re (still) an “apostrophe novice” or not.

In each pair below, which is the correct one?
A: You’re not wrong.
B: You aren’t wrong.

C: two man’s hours
D: two men’s hours

E: Who’s not coming?
F: Who isn’t coming?

G: McDonald’s drinks
H: McDonalds’ drinks

I: … it’s missing parts.
J: … its missing parts.

K: My child scored four As for her PSLE exam.
L: My child scored four A’s for her PSLE exam.

M: mathematics’s beloved constant
N: mathematics’ beloved constant

O: Buy Bitcoin’s on FTX
P: Buy Bitcoins’ on FTX

Q: Under 18’s only
R: Under 18s only

S: the player’s trophies during the 2000s
T: the players’ trophies during the 2000’s

U: Jesus’ parables and miracles
V: Jesus’s parables and miracles

W: Trump and Xi’s goals
X: Trump’s and Xi’s goals

Y: I would’ve left him if not for his money.
Z: I’d have left him if not for his money.

How many of these pairs have both options correct?

US Math MAGA-nizing Singapore?

Is Mathematics Plural or Singular?

Recently, while working on a math project, I was tickled when I came across something that reads like “Maths are like comic books. They help us deal with things in real life. …”

In French, it’s common usage to use les mathématiques—in plural form vis-à-vis the singular la mathématique. I thought it’s amusing that someone had creatively treated “maths” as plural. I was clueless if that’s because mathematic is singular and mathematics is plural.

Indeed, talking about the lighter side of math or math education, math writing (or editing) in the hands or mind of a nonmath writer (or editor) can be achingly funny. Any of those nontrivial blunders we occasionally (or frequently?) make often turns out to be little mathematical moments that spark joy in someone’s day.

Gram’tically y’rs

© Yan Kow Cheong, December 10, 2024.

Never Lose Faith in Zeros!

0000 won 2nd prize for 2nd time in over 10 years.

If you’re thinking of an early retirement and considering playing lottery or indulging in crypto speculation in achieving your financial goal, you can’t merely hope or pray for the best.

Even Lady Luck favors those who diligently put their mathematical or probabilistic knowledge into practice. You can’t be a passive pray-er!

As a “math person,” there are certain “smart” steps you’d take to increase the chances of winning the lottery or outperforming the market. For instance, if you longed to be one of the few (or the only one) rather than one of the many winners in a 4D or TOTO draw, it’s wiser to choose the oft-dreaded 0000 (or deadly 4444) instead of the boring 1234 or auspicious (or superstitious?) 8888.

Remember: Not all 4Ds are treated the same—some are luckier than others!

PHOTO: Stomp

In case you think that only semi-educated, semi-innumarates, or blue-collar folks (or MAGA patriots or Jan. 6 “hostages”) play lottery or visit casinos, you couldn’t be more wrong.

A decent (or probably obscene?) number of mathematicians and math educators worldwide frequently (or discreetly) try their luck in all kinds of gambling activities, legal or illegal.

It looks like they “know” something that the majority of “educated” folks tend to dismiss as a recreational or get-rich-quick activity for the “uneducated” or “mathematically challenged.”

PHOTO: Stomp. Since 1986, 0000 got lucky a total of 14 times, excluding the latest result.

Who are laughing all their way to the bank? Who are we to judge these street-smart folks, who’re now financially independent while their geeky friends are barely surviving to pay the bills or mortgages?

There are more than one way to be cash-rich (but often time- or health-poor), and 4D lottery is one such arguably sinful avenue or option to fulfilling that dream.

How are they (morally) different: Young Singaporeans speculating in crypto hoping to retire early, and their parents or/and grandparents playing 4D and TOTO every week also praying to retire prematurely?

Luckily & wealthily (and generously) yours

References

Number 0000 wins second prize in 4D draw for second time after over 10 years tinyurl.com/mv9pfk4m

Number 0000 wins second prize in 4D draw tinyurl.com/m3kchuvw

© Yan Kow Cheong, November 23, 2024.

Are You a Square?

Math geeks or nerds are frequently labeled a “square.” Nonmath or non-symbol-minded folks also nickname them a “block” or “bore”!

Art © Grant Snider

Indeed, it hurts if you’re dubbed one! There is no shortage of negative or unflattering labels to describe those who’re apparently born or blessed with the “math gene.”

Fortunately, these days, with so many math geeks using their talent or gifting to help produce all kinds of technological marvels, or helping the world solve a number of wicked problems, respect or awe for the socially awkward or romantically inept seems to be at an all-time high.

Getting Rich from Math

Think of those tens of thousands of millionaires and billionaires worldwide, who’ve made their fortune thanks to the oft-invisible power or applications of math and science.

Their “square” looks or dating habits might make you avoid them like the plague, but you can be sure that a good percentage of these “bores” or “non-blockheads” are laughing all the way to the bank.

Many of those “squares” or “blocks” are being paid handsomely because of their sought-after mathematical or coding skills.

And many of these (oft-foreign-born) guys Trump & gang think they can do without them because they’re “stealing” white-collar jobs or “spying” on Americans—the MAGA cult want to deport (or even demonize) them to protect local high-tech jobs from skilled aliens.

Yes, some of these geeky guys and gals are arguably unhandsome or plain-looking. Who cares when math is their god, which has allowed them to retire prematurely or to attain financial independence, when their non-STEM peers are struggling to pay the bill?

Love + Math = Success

And if you’re a hundredaire or thousandaire, it’s not too late to befriend or even date some of them. There is exponential power or benefit when love meets math. When you discover in no time that the square-looking geek is often an (imperfect) circle inside.

Remember: The geeks shalt inherit the earth!

Squarely & securely yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, October 6, 2024

Drink to Derive

Anecdotally or statistically, an unhealthy number of mathematicians and math educators around the globe are chain-smokers. Out of habit or addiction, they need to puff out before any proof.

Photo © Anon.

Likewise, it wouldn’t be surprising that a (smaller) percentage of them would also need to drink before they derive any mathematical result, or prove or disprove any conjecture, which is worth gracing the pages of a reputable journal or periodical.

Strong Zero

On a visit to a local supermarket two years ago, I spotted Strong Zero, which led me to tweet about it:

Strong Zero: Something to reward yourself with at the end of a long fruitful day indulging in mathematical proof to destress yourself with fellow boozers.

Then, I had in mind to “derive, then drink,” rather than the other way around. The choice is yours! Know your limits!

If you drink, don’t derive! Really?

So, a little boozing and smoking (in moderation) might debatably be an unspoken (inexpensive?) boost or catalyst to experiencing an aha! When the product of two negatives produces a positive!

A Quickie from Russia

Since we’re on the topic of drinking alcoholic beverages or liquor to boost mathematical productivity, let’s end with a mathematical quickie from Putinland, which was pre-Xed (or tweeted) slightly less than a dozen years ago:

A man and his wife drink a keg of kvas in 10 days. He alone can drink it in 14 days. How long will his wife take to drink a keg?

Challenge: Try solving the above proportion problem in a nontraditional way (with or without a drink)! Better still, use a bar model to do it.

Creatively & productively yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, June 2, 2024.

Adult Math Goes Poetic

Ex-president Trump’s criminal hush-money trial in New York provides much fodder for comedians and political pundits, not to say, math educators and poets, to poke fun at the lasagna of lies exposed by the prosecution and defense teams.

Below is a math meme that was X-ed, when the ex-Commander in Cheat’s defense lawyer was cross-examining his “ex-fixer” in the court case.

Political Math: When two serial liars failed to convince a jury of recreational math educators from the “fine” city of Singapore that they’d be exempted from a mock high school test paper.

@MathPlus on May 20, 2024

5G Dishonesty

Thanks to Mr. Pinocchio and his once-most-loyal lawyer, who said he’d take a bullet for his ex-client, even math teachers and writers (and pseudo-poets) around the globe couldn’t resist from indulging in some poetic licence.

A Tale of Two Liars

One lied n times, but repented at the (n+1)th time.
The other keeps lying for the nⁿth time.

Once, they’re lying buddies.
Now, they’re lying enemies.

The seasoned liar served his time.
The serial liar will serve his soon.

@MathPlus on May 17, 2024

Below is a haiku that was hatched in the aftermath of the revelation that pseudonyms were contractually used in the hush money payment.

The Fart of the Deal

Dennison denied
having fun with Peterson.
Even Satan laughed.

X-Rated Calculus

Another “adult math” meme that was tweeted to irreverently expose the ex-president’s constant denial of his affair with a former porn star is the following:

Political Calculus: The Real Analysis of the Trump-Daniels Affair. Meme posted by Shivam Kr (Jan. 28, 2022) to the “Mathematical Mathematics Memes” page.

@MathPlus on April 17, 2024

More MAGA Haikus

Let’s end with four haikus based on the duo’s decades-long manifold lies.

The Hush-Money Case

Your lies tickle us.
“Election interference”?
It’s not—it’s jail time.

@SingaporeLite on April 21, 2024

L___I___A___R___S

The bigly liar
and his ex-“fixer,” who’s jailed,
but he’s still free.

They praised each other,
but they each deserve jail time
for their lies and crimes.

Among loyalists,
he pardoned some jailed buddies,
not his loyal “friend.”

@SakamotoMath on May 20, 2024

© Yan Kow Cheong, May 20, 2024.

The Joy of Swiftematics

Last July, millions across Asia competed for just 300,000 tickets to see Taylor Swift in the “fine” city of Singapore, which will host the only stop in Southeast Asia for the singer’s Eras Tour. Organizers said 22-plus million people registered for pre-sale tickets while online registrations passed the one million mark.

And last night, even pop singer Swift, who kicked off her six sold-out shows at the 55,000-seat National Stadium, couldn’t avoid creating some light-hearted political rift or jealousy among some ASEAN members.

Time magazine’s Person of the Year in 2023

Last month, after Thai Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin “complained” that Singapore had brokered a deal to “pay the pop star up to US$3 million for each of her six concerts—in exchange for keeping the shows exclusive to Singapore in Southeast Asia,” the Singapore Tourism Board admitted it “supported the event through a grant,” sans revealing its size or any conditions attached to it. Guesstimate the amount of grant that was given to stage these coveted events.

Even one unhappy politician from the Philippines said “this isn’t what good neighbors do” and called for his country to register its opposition with Singapore’s embassy. Go ahead, Mr. Joey Salceda.

Cartoon by Shannon Wheeler. #NewYorkerCartoons

Political instability, radical ideology that threatens violence to Western values, and poor infrastructure are oft-unspoken key factors for concert promoters to convince the pop superstar to give regional hubs like Bangkok, Manila, Kuala Lumpur, and Jakarta a miss as part of her “Eras Tour.”

Math in Pop Culture

With so much excitement (and concern from conservative or puritan parents) about Swift’s six-show tour in Singapore, how could math educators seize the opportunity to excite otherwise mathematically indifferent or apathetic students with some Swift-related math questions or activities?

For instance, what about coining some math or dismal science terms like Swiftematics and Swiftonomics to promote some creative problem posing?

A Singapore Math Definition of Swiftematics

Text © Anon.

Could the Boyfriend Make It on Time?

Posing real-life Swift-related math questions is only limited by our imagination. Below is a nontrivial question that was posted on Facebook, whose solution is anything but straightforward.

Posted by Judy Smith Hallett on “Maths Jokes Daily”

Swift’s Carbon Footprint

In 2022, Swift topped the list of celebrities with the highest private jet CO₂ emissions. If her jet pollution were about x times more than the average person’s total annual emissions, estimate x.

The next item is a Swift- or math-friendly question posted by news anchor Peter Busch.

A Math-Friendly Question for Swifties

The Numerology of Taylor Swift

Last month, after reading about Swift’s serial infatuation with her “lucky” number 13, I made an attempt to define Swiftie Math, which is based on the numerology (or pseudoscience) of Taylor Swift.

Since I’ve yet to receive any approval or rejection of the term—whether the editors see it fit for publication—I’d skip posting it online for now.

The Swift-Biden Conspiracy

Theomatically, MAGA evangelicals (or MAGA Xtians, where X ≠ Christ)—a subset of Christian nationalists—in red-pilled states haven’t failed to warn netizens about the “satanic” influences of Taylor Swift’s songs, but have hypocritically or selectively remained silent about the fraudulent, criminal, and sexual activities of their “political savior.”

Does Taylor Swift CAST SPELLS On Her Listeners?!

Conspiracies about the singer’s alleged support for President Biden have been rife in political and religious circles to paint Ms. Swift as an “ambassador of Satan,” who’s shown zero sign in supporting Trump and his cult.

Photo © 2024 CNN

Puritan Trumpublicans are hell-bent to warn millions of Swifties from unknowingly becoming witches lest they and their idol lose their souls, but, interestingly, hardly anything from these patriots calling for a nationwide corporate prayer for the soul of their beloved un-Christian ex-president.

Musically & mathematically yours

References

Taylor Swift named Time’s ‘Person of the Year’ https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/06/media/taylor-swift-time-person-of-the-year?cid=ios_app

‘Cruel Summer’ for Taylor Swift fans in Asia as Singapore shows sell out https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/14/business/taylor-swift-tour-singapore-asia-popularity-intl-hnk-dst

Taylor Swift’s journey from country icon to pop superstar https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/21/entertainment/gallery/taylor-swift/index.html

Does Taylor Swift CAST SPELLS On Her Listeners?! https://youtu.be/SDmzNDrj2NI?si=-gWMOb7CwsswytYV

© Yan Kow Cheong, March 3, 2024.