If you had to choose between cat and calculus, which one would you save, especially if you happened to be a cat-and-math lover?
A math meme that pokes fun at the MAGA cult
Unlike dogs that are faithful, loyal, and obedient, cats are unpredictable, independent, and creative.
Yes, you can rely on a dog to unconditionally love you back even after you’ve scolded or even ill-treated them. The same treatment could hardly be said of or expected from a “never-forget” cat, who’s often the master (or lord) of their owner.
Know who’s the boss at home. Art stolen from “Kitty Corner” on FB.
It’s probably not a coincidence that a title like Calculus for Cats doesn’t just sound catchy (or even sexy), but it’s also apt for the feline family for a number of reasons.
Arguably, most dogs and puppies could handle algebra and trigonometry (or even pre-calculus), but cats and kittens, blessed with a “higher IQ” than their canine counterparts, could apparently manage calculus as well—or even intuitive topology in the hands of a geeky trainer.
Why aren’t more people christening their cat “Newton”?
Philosophically, dogs are peasants; cats are poets.
Singapore’s Cat Problem Solvers
It’s said that most dogs solve elementary math word problems religiously using algebra, without much appreciation (or comprehension?) of what they’re doing, unlike [lazy] cats—who’re always on the lookout for a shorter or creative way—that are prone to using the intuitive bar or stack model method to solving them.
Based on TIMSS and PISA rankings, it’s probably not an exaggeration to say that zero resources Singapore has done a relatively good job vis-à-vis other high GDP nations (with a much higher education budget) in nurturing its students (and teachers) into cat problem solvers.
Are You a Cat or Dog?
As a mathematical problem solver, are you more cat than dog? Or, to play safe, would you rather not rock the boat, by reluctantly being a dog math educator? Besides, you probably feel safer to sticking to routine algebraic methods than exploring nontraditional strategies in solving brain-unfriendly questions.
The “lazy” one does nothing; the “bees-zy” one does anything and everything.
No Sacrificial Lamb
Coming back to the dilemma between cat and calculus, if you’re a geeky cat lover, which one would you choose?
Assuming that no dog would be made the scapegoat to substitute the “unlucky” one, which one would you sacrifice or die for to keep one over the other?
In recent years, I found more instances of “its” being (wrongly?) substituted for “it’s” in otherwise grammatically correct sentences, making me wonder whether or not the two are now socially interchangeable. It’s is short for it is or it has. Its means belonging to it, as in “It’s hurt its foot while fleeing a prey.”
Chinglish Math
This reminds me of other oft-confused differences like “everyday and every day” and “that and which.”
The misuse of apostrophes isn’t limited to folks from non-English-speaking countries like China, South Korea, and Vietnam. Even in the “fine” city of Singapore, on social media, it’s not uncommon to witness (senior) math editors, (seasoned) teachers, and (savvy) politicians commit these grammatical faux pas.
Using the apostrophe correctly needn’t be difficult once you know the rule, albeit there are some tricky exceptions, which you may be forgiven if you do commit these grammar sins.
Test Yourself
Below is a simple but not simplistic exercise to test whether you’re (still) an “apostrophe novice” or not.
In each pair below, which is the correct one? A: You’re not wrong. B: You aren’t wrong.
C: two man’s hours D: two men’s hours
E: Who’s not coming? F: Who isn’t coming?
G: McDonald’s drinks H: McDonalds’ drinks
I: … it’s missing parts. J: … its missing parts.
K: My child scored four As for her PSLE exam. L: My child scored four A’s for her PSLE exam.
S: the player’s trophies during the 2000s T: the players’ trophies during the 2000’s
U: Jesus’ parables and miracles V: Jesus’s parables and miracles
W: Trump and Xi’s goals X: Trump’s and Xi’s goals
Y: I would’ve left him if not for his money. Z: I’d have left him if not for his money.
How many of these pairs have both options correct?
US Math MAGA-nizing Singapore?
Is Mathematics Plural or Singular?
Recently, while working on a mathproject, I was tickled when I came across something that reads like “Maths are like comic books. They help us deal with things in real life. …”
In French, it’s common usage to use les mathématiques—in plural form vis-à-vis the singular la mathématique. I thought it’s amusing that someone had creatively treated “maths” as plural. I was clueless if that’s because mathematic is singular and mathematics is plural.
Indeed, talking about the lighter side of math or math education, math writing (or editing) in the hands or mind of a nonmath writer (or editor) can be achingly funny. Any of those nontrivial blunders we occasionally (or frequently?) make often turns out to be little mathematical moments that spark joyin someone’s day.
If you’re thinking of an early retirement and considering playing lottery or indulging in crypto speculation in achieving your financial goal, you can’t merely hope or pray for the best.
Even Lady Luck favors those who diligently put their mathematical or probabilistic knowledge into practice. You can’t be a passive pray-er!
As a “math person,” there are certain “smart” steps you’d take to increase the chances of winning the lottery or outperforming the market. For instance, if you longed to be one of the few (or the only one) rather than one of the many winners in a 4D or TOTO draw, it’s wiser to choose the oft-dreaded 0000 (or deadly 4444) instead of the boring 1234 or auspicious (or superstitious?) 8888.
Remember: Not all 4Ds are treated the same—some are luckier than others!
PHOTO: Stomp
In case you think that only semi-educated, semi-innumarates, or blue-collar folks (or MAGA patriots or Jan. 6 “hostages”) play lottery or visit casinos, you couldn’t be more wrong.
A decent (or probably obscene?) number of mathematicians and math educators worldwide frequently (or discreetly) try their luck in all kinds of gambling activities, legal or illegal.
It looks like they “know” something that the majority of “educated” folks tend to dismiss as a recreational or get-rich-quick activity for the “uneducated” or “mathematically challenged.”
PHOTO: Stomp. Since 1986, 0000 got lucky a total of 14 times, excluding the latest result.
Who are laughing all their way to the bank? Who are we to judge these street-smart folks, who’re now financially independent while their geeky friends are barely surviving to pay the bills or mortgages?
There are more than one way to be cash-rich (but often time- or health-poor), and 4D lottery is one such arguably sinful avenue or option to fulfilling that dream.
How are they (morally) different: Young Singaporeans speculating in crypto hoping to retire early, and their parents or/and grandparents playing 4D and TOTO every week also praying to retire prematurely?
Luckily & wealthily (and generously) yours
References
Number 0000 wins second prize in 4D draw for second time after over 10 years tinyurl.com/mv9pfk4m
Indeed, it hurts if you’re dubbed one! There is no shortage of negative or unflattering labels to describe those who’re apparently born or blessed with the “math gene.”
Fortunately, these days, with so many math geeks using their talent or gifting to help produce all kinds of technological marvels, or helping the world solve a number of wicked problems, respect or awe for the socially awkward or romantically inept seems to be at an all-time high.
Getting Rich from Math
Think of those tens of thousands of millionaires and billionaires worldwide, who’ve made their fortune thanks to the oft-invisible power or applications of math and science.
Their “square” looks or dating habits might make you avoid them like the plague, but you can be sure that a good percentage of these “bores” or “non-blockheads” are laughing all the way to the bank.
Many of those “squares” or “blocks” are being paid handsomely because of their sought-after mathematical or coding skills.
And many of these (oft-foreign-born) guys Trump & gang think they can do without them because they’re “stealing” white-collar jobs or “spying” on Americans—the MAGA cult want to deport (or even demonize) them to protect local high-tech jobsfrom skilled aliens.
Yes, some of these geeky guys and gals are arguably unhandsome or plain-looking. Who cares when math is their god, which has allowed them to retire prematurely or to attain financial independence, when their non-STEM peers are struggling to pay the bill?
Love + Math = Success
And if you’re a hundredaire or thousandaire, it’s not too late to befriend or even date some of them. There is exponential power or benefit when love meets math. When you discover in no time that the square-looking geek is often an (imperfect) circle inside.
Where would your bills go to as your days become numbered? What are the chances that for most folks their pills would fill up a large part of their bill?
Cartoon by Mike Seddon
For some folks, their will might allocate more fund in anticipation of their loved ones’ soaring bills due to their consuming more dearer or designer pills.
Whatever the case, pills are seldom a positive sign in someone’s health regardless of their age.
Healing Is Free
A zero-pills lifestyle is (only) achievable by the Great Healer, who numbers our days, and whose death and resurrection on the cross had made it possible for any (willing) soul to live a quasi-pills-free way of life.
Isn’t it true that the best things in life are free? Yet, why would millions of people rather spend their savings on their poor health, when a touch from Him could graciously or freely heal them (completely)?
It’s not too late to apply what we know is oft-unspokenly true, yet out of pride or disinformation or falsehoods from other faiths, we’re too afraid to seek healing and deliverance from Him, who freely frees those who’re sick of being sick of all kinds of emotional and physical illnesses or sicknesses, age-related or not.
Anecdotally or statistically, an unhealthy number of mathematicians and math educators around the globe are chain-smokers. Out of habit or addiction, they need to puff out before any proof.
Likewise, it wouldn’t be surprising that a (smaller) percentage of them would also need to drink before they derive any mathematical result, or prove or disprove any conjecture, which is worth gracing the pages of a reputable journal or periodical.
Strong Zero
On a visit to a local supermarket two years ago, I spotted Strong Zero, which led me to tweet about it:
Strong Zero: Something to reward yourself with at the end of a long fruitful day indulging in mathematical proof to destress yourself with fellow boozers.
Then, I had in mind to “derive, then drink,” rather than the other way around. The choice is yours! Know your limits!
If you drink, don’t derive! Really?
So, a little boozing and smoking (in moderation) might debatably be an unspoken (inexpensive?) boost or catalyst to experiencing an aha! When the product of two negatives produces a positive!
A Quickie from Russia
Since we’re on the topic of drinking alcoholic beverages or liquor to boost mathematical productivity, let’s end with a mathematical quickie from Putinland, which was pre-Xed (or tweeted) slightly less than a dozen years ago:
A man and his wife drink a keg of kvas in 10 days. He alone can drink it in 14 days. How long will his wife take to drink a keg?
Challenge: Try solving the above proportion problem in a nontraditional way (with or without a drink)! Better still, use a bar model to do it.
Ex-president Trump’s criminal hush-money trial in New York provides much fodder for comedians and political pundits, not to say, math educators and poets, to poke fun at the lasagna of lies exposed by the prosecution and defense teams.
Below is a math meme that was X-ed, when the ex-Commander in Cheat’s defense lawyer was cross-examining his “ex-fixer” in the court case.
Political Math: When two serial liars failed to convince a jury of recreational math educators from the “fine” city of Singapore that they’d be exempted from a mock high school test paper.
@MathPlus on May 20, 2024
5GDishonesty
Thanks to Mr. Pinocchio and his once-most-loyal lawyer, who said he’d take a bullet for his ex-client, even math teachers and writers (and pseudo-poets) around the globe couldn’t resist from indulging in some poetic licence.
A Tale of Two Liars
One lied n times, but repented at the (n+1)th time. The other keeps lying for the nⁿth time.
Another “adult math” meme that was tweeted to irreverently expose the ex-president’s constant denial of his affair with a former porn star is the following:
Political Calculus: The Real Analysis of the Trump-Daniels Affair. Meme posted by Shivam Kr (Jan. 28, 2022) to the “Mathematical Mathematics Memes” page.
@MathPlus on April 17, 2024
More MAGA Haikus
Let’s end with four haikus based on the duo’s decades-long manifold lies.
Last July, millions across Asia competed for just 300,000 tickets to see Taylor Swift in the “fine” city of Singapore, which will host the only stop in Southeast Asia for the singer’s Eras Tour. Organizers said 22-plus million people registered for pre-sale tickets while online registrations passed the one million mark.
And last night, even pop singer Swift, who kicked off her six sold-out shows at the 55,000-seat National Stadium, couldn’t avoid creating some light-hearted political rift or jealousy among some ASEAN members.
Time magazine’s Person of the Year in 2023
Last month, after Thai Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin “complained” that Singapore had brokered a deal to “pay the pop star up to US$3 million for each of her six concerts—in exchange for keeping the shows exclusive to Singapore in Southeast Asia,” the Singapore Tourism Board admitted it “supported the event through a grant,” sans revealing its size or any conditions attached to it. Guesstimate the amount of grant that was given to stage these coveted events.
Even one unhappy politician from the Philippines said “this isn’t what good neighbors do” and called for his country to register its opposition with Singapore’s embassy. Go ahead, Mr. Joey Salceda.
Cartoon by Shannon Wheeler. #NewYorkerCartoons
Political instability, radical ideology that threatens violence to Western values, and poor infrastructure are oft-unspoken key factors for concert promoters to convince the pop superstar to give regional hubs like Bangkok, Manila, Kuala Lumpur, and Jakarta a miss as part of her “Eras Tour.”
Mathin Pop Culture
With so much excitement (and concern from conservative or puritan parents) about Swift’s six-show tour in Singapore, how could math educators seize the opportunity to excite otherwise mathematically indifferent or apathetic students with some Swift-related math questions or activities?
For instance, what about coining some math or dismal science terms like Swiftematics and Swiftonomics to promote some creative problem posing?
Posing real-life Swift-related math questions is only limited by our imagination. Below is a nontrivial question that was posted on Facebook, whose solution is anything but straightforward.
Posted by Judy Smith Hallett on “Maths Jokes Daily”
Swift’s Carbon Footprint
In 2022, Swift topped the list of celebrities with the highest private jet CO₂ emissions. If her jet pollution were about x times more than the average person’s total annual emissions, estimate x.
The next item is a Swift- or math-friendly question posted by news anchor Peter Busch.
A Math-Friendly Question for Swifties
The Numerology of Taylor Swift
Last month, after reading about Swift’s serial infatuation with her “lucky” number 13, I made an attempt to define Swiftie Math, which is based on the numerology (or pseudoscience) of Taylor Swift.
Since I’ve yet to receive any approval or rejection of the term—whether the editors see it fit for publication—I’d skip posting it online for now.
The Swift-Biden Conspiracy
Theomatically, MAGA evangelicals (or MAGA Xtians, where X ≠ Christ)—a subset of Christian nationalists—in red-pilled states haven’t failed to warn netizens about the “satanic” influences of Taylor Swift’s songs, but have hypocritically or selectively remained silent about the fraudulent, criminal, and sexual activities of their “political savior.”
Does Taylor Swift CAST SPELLS On Her Listeners?!
Conspiracies about the singer’s alleged support for President Biden have been rife in political and religious circles to paint Ms. Swift as an “ambassador of Satan,” who’s shown zero sign in supporting Trump and his cult.
Puritan Trumpublicans are hell-bent to warn millions of Swifties from unknowingly becoming witches lest they and their idol lose their souls, but, interestingly, hardly anything from these patriots calling for a nationwide corporate prayer for the soul of their beloved un-Christian ex-president.
Common sense has returned to Thailand, when the present government admitted before the Year of the Dragon ushered in that the recreational use of cannabis or marijuana is wrong, which was decriminalized in the kingdom in 2022.
Mr. Chonlanan Srikaew, Thai health minister, said that the government will soon be moving a new bill that will allow the drug to be used only for health and medicinal purposes.
Indeed, a big blow to hundreds of marijuana dispensary owners, and to millions of tourists who’re planning to visit the “Land of a Thousand Smiles” to get a kick out of marijuana.
And to a small extent, the ban will also affect recreational math educators who’ve started working on new and fertile questions that incorporate the legalized use of marijuana recreationally.
Should “Thailand math” questions be allowed in recreational math classrooms?
Marijuana Math
In an earlier post on “Marijuana Math” under “Math Word of the Day,” on LinkedIn, I poked fun that in tourism the “fine” city of Singapore would likely be losing out against Thailand. I mentioned tongue-in-cheek a few positives of Thailand being a “marijuana mecca” for adventurous or uninhibited tourists, especially those who come from conservative countries that criminalize the use of the drug recreationally.
With the new cannabis law in the pipeline, the number of tourists bypassing budget-unfriendly, family-friendly Singapore for wallet-friendly, pro-same-sex unions Thailand should be expected to be far lower than initially feared.
Math on a High
Let’s indulge in some recreational Thai Math questions, while there is some time to be on a high. The window of opportunity to enjoy these soon-to-be-banned word problems is closing in fast, unless the power-hungry military stages another coup to put in place a new pro-cannabis government.
1. A MAGA patriot, who recently visited Thailand, was caught with 24 cannabis candies and chewing gums in his locker at Mar-a-Lago. The fine is $80 for each candy, and $90 for each chewing gum. If the judge sentenced the culprit for a total of $2,010, how many candles and how many chewing gums were seized?
2. Which has the higher chance of occurring in the next quarter century: Singapore qualifying for the World Cup, or Singapore allowing tourists (but not locals and permanent residents) to use marijuana recreationally?
3. If the medicinal use of marijuana debatably proved to be a quasi-effective cure in treating math anxiety, mathophobia, or other mathematical disorders in a-not-too-distant future, would the “fine” city condone its use among its oft-self-professed semi-innumerate citizens?
Like the days of the legalization of recreational cannabis in Thailand, the days of the recreational use of Thai Math questions, too, look numbered.
A math definition that has miraculously survived the attack of digital green terrorists.
Are you guilty of speaking (even mild) mathematical bullshit with your fellow math educators? How often do you use these BS phrases consciously or unconsciously to sound more educated or “mathematically civilized”?
If your math HOD talks about squaring the circle, thinking outside (or inside) the box (or cube), or going the extra (second) mile, do you really understand what the heck they’re talking about? Or are they just trying to impress or persuade their teachers to “walk their talk” (yes, another BS term); or worse, to cover up their shortcomings or confuse the new novice teachers?
What are the chances that they may to some degree be farting around some annoying and tiresome jargon to sound like a mathematical bore?
Of course, mathematical BS goes beyond language. Think of those sadistic statistics, data graphics, or infographics, which are often intended to mislead or confuse the audience. Misinformation, disinformation, and the Trump lies—you’re lured by them, because most are often music to the ear, especially if you love indulging in conspiracies, hoaxes, and white supremacist talks.
Context Matters
If a math teacher or educator talks about pushing the envelope, the chances that they may be legitimate are pretty high. If Pinocchios like Donald J. Trump, Boris Johnson, Vladimir V. Putin, and Kim Jong-un do, then it’s probably not—the odds are quasi-zero.
How to Be a Mathematical Bullshitter
How many of these phrases mostly convey empty words trying to sound smart?
always in beta think outside the box zero sum game square the circle make a 180° turn the common denominator 360° appraisal walk the talk walk the walk big picture big ideas blue sky thinking pie in the sky go the extra (second) mile 24/7 or 24/7/365 9 out of 10 agree journal writing push the envelope back to square one learning experiences growth mindset problem-based learning (PBL) the new (new) normal miss the forest for the trees moral calculus
To Bull or Not to Bull?
Is spewing out mathematical BS a form of ineffective communication? A linguistic malpractice you’d try avoiding to reduce any chances of being misinterpreted?
Or do you like them because they make the speaker sound intelligent or educated, albeit their meanings or interpretations are often vague or even dangerous in some extreme cases or contexts?
In most cases, they arguably add spice to the conversation or impress the listeners, because most people who use them aren’t necessarily dishonest or evil-minded, unlike Trump and his gang of morally corrupt advisers and lawyers.
If BS can get Mr. Pinocchio into the White House or remove a country from the WHO, why not you? Your politicians, bosses, and pastors do it all the time (and probably you too), whether you want to admit it or not, so shouldn’t you do it as well since everyone else is guilty of it?
Until we meet again, know that my job isn’t to cure you from any honest or dishonest mathspeak. Why?* You can’t count on me to free you from a life of mathematical BS.
* The writer is currently undergoing weekly counselling sessions for excessively using BS or PC words in his formal and informal writing; he hopes (and also prays) that he’d find freedom from linguistic obfuscation in using only simple language that even his pets at home could understand him.
