Even if math educators are politically apathetic or have near-zero interest in world politics, they can’t discount lightly the irrational thoughts, words, and actions of President Trump and Chairman Kim, because the very presence of these two world “leaders” is two too many—the world is far less secure with these two fellows around, especially when at the push of a nuclear button, millions of innocent civilians would be heading to the other side of eternity sooner than later.
Below are two irreverent entries that were approved by the Urban Dictionary editors about Trump and Kim.
Being neither a mathematician nor a politician, I’d be the most unqualified “math educator” to hypothesize how numerate or “logical” or rational these two disruptive politicians are. However, my educational hypothesis about math education in both North Korea and the US is that North Korea Math is probably less inch-deep-mile-wide than US Math.
On January 2, 2013, I tweeted in tongue-in-cheek the following:
If North Korea were to take part in TIMSS, would it be a surprise if its K–12 #math students outperform their counterparts in the US? #TIMSS
If we factor in the educational budget of each participating country in TIMSS and their local teachers’ limited resources, a politically incorrect ranking would probably look as follows:
There are no ranking errors: Singapore isn’t in the top ten (with or without private tuition).
The Rocket Man and the Mentally Deranged US Dotard
Which “political unthinking” is more dangerous: “Think like Kim” or “Think like Trump”? Who is a more unpredictable or deadly bully? Is “Fatty Kim the Third“—a derogatory term for the well-fed dictator whose own people are starving in the millions—a mere toothless bully vis-à-vis his American counterpart?
Having zero mercy for your political foes, by torturing them and their family members; and poisoning, hanging, or murdering your siblings and relatives, who you suspect are against you.
Or, tweeting and taunting illegal immigrants, radical Islamists, and the LGBT community, which tends to trigger symptoms of insomnia, irrational fear, anxiety, depression, and trauma—the so-called Trump Stress Disorder (TSD)—which unconfirmed reports suggest that they’re more likely to die sooner of heart attack, or to be victims of racial or ethnic persecution.
Kim’s Digital Murder
Below is a quick-and-dirty e-card I tweeted on August 5, 2018 on dictator-murderer Kim, who had his army of hackers or digital terrorists use Photoshop to “digitally murder” his uncle.
If Kim Jong-Un were a radical Muslim-convert, North Korea could become ISIS’s new HQ! #politics #war some.ly/dCh7Y7b
Mathematical Intercourse between Trump and Kim
Another half-baked mathematical e-card I made and tweeted during the Trump-Kim tête-à-tête in Singapore is the following:
On a nonmathematical note,
and the question is: What do you get if you cross a Trump with a Kim? and the answer is: Nothing. You can't cross a dictator with a murderer.
Or, on a mathematical note,
and the question is: What do you get if you cross a mosquito Kim with an overweight Trump? and the answer is: Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
A Bromance of Two Dictators
Trump claimed that he and Kim “fell in love” after exchanging letters—it sounds like two egomaniacs trying to outwit each other with their insincere sweet words, by stroking each other’s fragile ego.
Trump-Putin, Trump-Xi, Trump-Sisi, Trump-Erdogan, and now Trump-Kim. It appears that dictators do attract each other! A political hypothesis math educators pursuing a PhD in math education might wish to test is: Dictatorship is quadratic!
From Dictator Putin to Emperor Xi to soon-to-be Pharaoh Sisi, Tweeter-in-Chief or Pinocchio-in-Chief Trump, all these power-hungry men have no limits to controlling more yes-men and yes-women, while expecting blind obedience—those who don’t toe the line are likely to be fired prematurely.
In Trump & Kim We Trust
Last June, the Singapore government forked out a wallet-unfriendly $20 million to hold the symbolic meeting between President Trump and Chairman Kim.
A Political Math exercise I tweeted then was: Guesstimate how much on average each taxpayer in Singapore “contributed” to footing the $20 million bill for the Trump-Kim meeting. bit.ly/2sVT6jG
Fire and Fury on Kim and His Gang of Killers
Unlike his dictatorial and murderous grandfather and father who had longed to meeting a US President while they’re still alive, Kim Jong-un is the luckiest of the unholy trinity in finding a “good friend” in Donald Trump.
Political pundits think that North Korea needs more than trade sanctions for its nuclear and missile programs and the threat they pose to the world. A regime change to deliver North Koreans from the tyranny of the Kim dynasty ought to be in the political pipeline.
Thou Shalt Not Impersonate Thy Leader
Unlike Vietnam which tries to threaten Trump and Kim impersonators to stop their “mocking acts,” it’s rather surprising that Singapore didn’t ban these pseudo-tyrants from walking around in town to have some political fun with both locals and tourists.
Abel & Cain 4.0
On the right is an e-card I wrote and tweeted around the time when Kim Jong Un wanted so badly to exterminate his half-brother, Kim Jong Nam.
And below is an approved entry I contributed on “Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam,” which could no longer be publicly accessed online:
Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam The modern-day version of the biblical Abel and Cain, with the chances of the two Kims not meeting their late father and grandfather in hell near to zero. Brothers-rivals Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-nam serve as ideal plot characters for a Korean spy movie.
Maybe Kim’s hackers felt that the days of its publication should be numbered.
Obama vs. Kim
Unlike a dozen-odd mean tweets on Trump and Kim, any entries on Obama and Kim were in short supply. One I tweeted about them in 2014 in the aftermath of a racist comment on President Obama is the following:
An Unrighteous Deed, Indeed If Obama is like a "monkey in a tropical forest," then Kim Jong-un must be a "fat pig in Siberia." #North-Korea (@MathPlus on 27/12/14)
Politico-Mathematica à la Singapour
Below are some politically incorrect “political math” questions that teachers could creatively tweak to pitch to their oft-politically challenged students, by conveying the message that math and politics do mix.
1. Parallelism between Two Irrational Personalities
List a dozen parallels between President Trump and Chairman Kim.
For example, Trump and Kim each have been conferred with high-sounding titles for their “contributions” to mankind.
2. Modeling with Trump and Kim
(a) Trump’s Tweets—Firing by Twitter
Model President Trump’s tweets, which provide a rich source of comedy, into a little juicy formula, which would predict his tweet-before-you-think posts in coming years (assuming that he would still be allowed to tweet behind bars should he be convicted for some political or business collusion with foreign powers).
(b) Kim’s Murders—Murder by Numbers
Formulate a “wicked algorithm” that would guesstimate the number of political critics or foes the Kim dynasty had ordered to be imprisoned, tortured, or killed every year since the Korean War.
3. [Fake] Nobel Prize Winners
What are the odds that the Tweeter-in-Chief and the Murderer-in-Chief might share the coveted the Nobel Peace Prize, if their peaceful actions are perceived to help avert World War III, which could irrationally or maniacally be triggered by pressing their nuclear button?
If someone like Yassir Arafat, who supported terrorism against Israel, could win a Nobel Prize, it’s not far-fetched that both Trump and Kim might be “honored” for fakely bringing world peace to an already-violent world, made insecure by radical Islamists.
4. Political Math
Below are some politico-mathematica questions I posted in recent months.
(a) Political Math: Guesstimate how many false or misleading claims Donald Trump will make by the time he leaves the White House in 2020 (or earlier if he is impeached and imprisoned)—7546 white lies in 700 days. #Singapore #math #politics #estimation #humor (@MathPlus on 30/12/18)
(b) Political Math: Which event has the higher odds of ever happening: Donald Trump winning the Nobel Peace Prize or being canonized as “Saint Trump”? If Arafat can win it, so can Trump! bit.ly/2IwDuP1 #Vatican #peace #sainthood #North-Korea #Singapore #math #miracle #humor (@MathPlus on 18/2/19)
(c) Political Math: What are the odds that if we had had President Hillary Clinton instead of President Donald Trump, she too would have fired the ex-FBI director James Comey, and that her opponents would now be calling for her impeachment and prosecution? #politics #math #hypocrisy (@MathPlus on 3/1/19)
(d) Political Math: What are the odds that President Trump would not seek re-election in November 2020 in the aftermath of his impeachment by the House for colluding with Putin and gang? #statistics #SingaporeMath #math #odds #collusion #election #politics #Trump #Putin #humor (@MathPlus on 30/11/18)
5. Murderous Math
Here are some deadly math toughies that may not be apt for politically or religiously immature souls. Caution: Arm yourself, if need be, if you feel that you may be a victim of some form of “mathematical rebellion” from your hostile audience, who may be on a different political or spiritual wavelength as you.
(a) Murderous Singapore Math: What are the odds that there would be a coup in North Korea when Dictator Kim traveled to Hanoi for another symbolic meeting with President Trump? Is China, Iran, Syria, Russia, or Venezuela keen to take him?
Murderous Zeros: If filthy rich Saudis can buy a morally bankrupt fellow like Donald Trump to keep his silence, guesstimate how many “loyal zeros” he is worth to his murderers. #Khashoggi #MBS #murder #guesstimation #math (@Zero_Math on 21/11/18)
Murderous Math: A World Without North Korea—What are the chances that in the aftermath of a North Korean nuclear attack on the US, the Kim dynasty would cease to exist (as the US and allies retaliate to wipe out North Korea from the map)? #war #North-Korea #apocalypse #math (@Zero_Math on 6/12/18)
6. Food & Dog Diplomacy
(a) Singapore Math: What are the chances that North Korea might have a McDonald franchise before having a US embassy? #McKim #humor (@MathPlus on 15/8/17)
McKim was approved on July 13, 2017, and had since been probably “hijacked” by the hackers of the guardian deity of planet Earth.
McKim The local burger McDonald plans to offer to middle-class North Koreans once Dictator Kim Jong Un and gang give them the green light to operate their first outlet in Pyongyang. The Trump camp thinks that food diplomacy may be a first step to getting the Kim dictatorship to give up its nuclearization program—they've secretly approached McDonald to come up with a North Korean recipe for McKim.
(b) Dog Diplomacy: Chinese Communists give pandas; North Korean Communists give dogs. bbc.co.uk/news/world-asi… #politics #North-Korea #Communism (@MathPlus on 26/11/18)
(c) Faith in god Kim
Kim’s likely promise to Trump: “I want to denuclearize”—as the sanctions hurt and my dynasty must prevail. But like China, Iran, and Russia, where lying and cheating are in their DNA, can the world trust North Korea & the Kim dynasty? #Singapore #politics (@Zero_Math on 10/6/18)
God Has the Final Say in Trump’s Destiny—Not Men or CNN
Let me end on a positive note on how I re-christened or re-defined “President Trump” on 9/11, the date when he’s miraculously elected in 2016.
Bibliography & References
Monti, R. A. (2018). Donald Trump in 100 facts. UK: Amberley Publishing.
Pater, R. (2016). The politics of design. Amsterdam: BIS Publishers.
Defector: Kim Jong Un ordered execution by flamethrower https://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2019/02/22/north-korea-defectors-todd-pkg-tsr-vpx.cnn
Vietnam deports Kim Jong-un impersonator ahead of summit http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47354761
Vietnam detains impersonators of Kim Jong Un and Trump http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47337945
Vietnamese barber marks summit with free Trump-Kim haircuts http://bit.ly/2tu4Rij
Trump-Kim T-shirts hottest item ahead of Hanoi summit as shops cash in http://bit.ly/2EveqDV
Jim Carrey targets Trump with blunt political cartoons https://www.cnn.com/style/article/jim-carrey-trump-political-cartoons/index.html
© Yan Kow Cheong, February 27, 2019.
A Creative & Disruptive Math Title Coming Your Way*
*Agents keen to represent publishers confident enough to sell an obscene number of If Trump Were Your Math Teacher could contact K C Yan at his e-mail coordinates. A trumpillion thanks!